Fiat Voluntas

Murdering my In-laws

2007-05-09T10:16:00.000-05:00

Today I have decided that I am going to murder my in-laws. The motive you ask? They constantly try to run my life. They constantly dominate the time that we are in Springfield regardless of the reason for our visit. Case in point: This weekend we are going up there for my nephew's baptism. The blood-sucking time-vampire in-laws called last night to tell us that we would be going out to eat with them on Saturday night. Dinner is fine....who would turn down a free dinner out? ME! Let me tell you why: Dinner with them is a four hour affair.

Then they called back to inform us that we will also be going out for lunch at some new place.

I mean, really, just never mind the fact that I have my own family and friends that I would like to visit.....

We will see how it all goes. These people make me crazy!

Let it go

2007-04-27T10:06:00.000-05:00

Ok.........I ended up not doing it. I let her pass in peace this morning. The Lord prefers it that way.

Fun with Pedestrians

2007-04-26T08:38:00.000-05:00

Every morning between 6:30 and 6:45 the same lady walks her dog by my house. For some reason this lady has always annoyed me. If my dogs happen to be out on the screened in porch she makes ugly faces at them (which is not to a far stretch as she is already pretty ugly) if they bark. Furthermore, her dog is one of those little mutant dogs that looks like it has been chasing parked cars. Well, today she decided to allow this little alien-dog to drop a dukie on my boulevard. Fine, nature is nature, it is hard to stop a dog that wants to poop. However, western society has in is possession these wonderful little devices that are handy for so many things: bags. Did she use one? No!

I waited until she was a good ten paces away before I said from the porch, "Hey don't worry about that. I will clean it up."

She did not respond. However, I know she heard me because she and her little freak-dog disappeared around the corner with a quickened pace.

So, I have an idea for tomorrow morning. I know from past experience that she is afraid of my dog. Therefore, tomorrow he will sit out on the porch with me with hes leash on. As soon as she gets if front of my house, Pow! Quigley is going to shoot out the front door barking to beat the band. I bet that I will have another pile of poop to clean up!

"Vengeance is mine" says the Lord.
No, in this case vengeance is MINE.

Never a Dull Moment

2007-04-25T09:34:00.000-05:00

There is another classroom mishap story that I feel I should share. The other day one of my students was going around the room handing out pencils. I thought to myself, "That is nice of him. He must have brought them from home and is just showing kindness to his classmates." Then, I took a closer look at the pencils....They were my pencils!!!!! He took them from the cup near my desk and decided to just hand them out for the heck of it. This was a moment when one has to watch one's tongue in the classroom. There were so many things that I wanted to say....but I did not say any of them. I remained calm and nobody cried.

I have another post to make later.....but for now I have some actual work to do.

Skating Fish

2007-04-24T14:36:00.000-05:00

Ok....so here I am again. I have not been active in the blog world for some time and I am starting to miss venting my opinions out to the greater world. (Or, at least whoever happens to read this.)

I really do feel like venting today. One of my "star students" (read that as "pain in the neck") somehow managed to knock over the fishbowl sending shards of glass, rocks, water, and a very surprised beta sliding across the classroom floor. It is all cleaned up now and the teacher across the hall provided me with a new bowl for the fish. She even put rocks, water, and a de-chlorinating tablet in it for me. How nice of her to help. But, that does not change the fact that I am just really ticked off about the whole situation. However, I bet I am not nearly as ticked as the poor fish that went skating across the floor with no warning. Well, in the final analysis, I guess that it was not a real big deal....perhaps it is just indicative of my desire to get out for the summer!

Well...I should sign off for today. I am hoping it will not rain today. Not for a special reason...I just don't want rain today.

What a Day

2006-12-20T12:48:00.000-06:00

Today is an odd day. I attended a funeral mass this morning only to be called in the middle of it to be told that another member of our chrurch has passed away. This disturbs me because I see a lot more caskets than baptisms these days. I fear for the future of our church. Perhaps I just have a gloomy outlook on this because there were about five deaths in the last month. However, that makes five caskets and I cannot remember the last time I saw a baptism.

What does the future hold? I know that the Lord told us that the gates of hell shall not overtake His Church. But, he did not say anything about the embalming table doing it!

Hope tomorrow is death free...

Max

Guinea Pigs: Not the Brightest Crayons in the Box

2006-12-14T09:54:00.000-06:00

My classroom is populated by one teacher, 13 students, one gerbil, and two guinea pigs. Today I would like to discuss the guinea pigs. Every morning while my students are working on their morning work assignments, I clean up the guinea pig cage. It is a very unexciting task, at least to me. However, there is a part that I find interesting. The dirtiest part of their cage is consistently the little plastic “house” in which they sleep. This is always the part of the cage that exhibits wet bedding and lots of good old number two. Everyday I ask myself the same question: Why would they do their business right where they sleep? After all the concept of crate-training for dogs is that they will not do their bathroom business where they sleep. I suppose the dog brain is just bigger than the guinea pig brain, but still, why would they want to sit in their own stuff? I mean, come on, they only have to walk like five inches to take their business outside of the “house”. I guess that is why guinea pigs never got to be known as “man’s best friend”.

For now,
Max

The sun will come out....TODAY!

2006-12-13T13:37:00.000-06:00

Today I would like to extol the virtues of sunlight. Throughout the last several days we have experienced cloudiness and rain here in the Heartland. Now, I know in my head that clouds and rain come from the Lord. However, I also know that there is nothing to uplift the spirit like bright sunshine. This morning when I first spotted it coming up over the horizon on its return trip from China I was simply elated. There is nothing as exhilarating as seeing that marvelous ball of fire that sustains life and good mood.

My dad is actually diagnosed with ‘Seasonal Affect Disorder”. This is a real disorder in which when the body is away from sunshine for too long a time a mild depression ensues. I think that, without doubt, I have inherited this funny quirk from dear old dad.

Thus, I am happy to have sun today and hope to have it tomorrow. However, when there is no sun to be seen, at least I know that I have the Son on my side.

Until Later,
Max

Kitty Meth

2006-12-12T13:45:00.000-06:00

The problem that I currently have is not a unique one, at least not to people like me who allow cats to live in our homes. The problem is this: The cats will not leave my Christmas tree alone. The like to climb it, play with it, chew on it, stare at it, sit under it, bat at ornaments, throw disco parties under the glittery ornaments, and in general make a mess of my tree. We have a tree that already looks as though it is expecting a flood; meaning, there are no ornaments or decorations of any kind on the lower ¼ of the tree.

To make the problem worse we have these really cool icicle things that are made from tightly wound springs of shiny, silver metal. These things are awesome on a tree but have the same general affect on a cat as meth might on a person. Therefore, the cats are constantly trying to up their high by getting a hold on another one. These things are tightly would, thus when a cat attempts to walk away with it, it sticks to the tree and stretches way out rendering it no longer useful for anything but garbage bag filler.

So, everyday our tree looks more and more like the Big Muddy River nearby is about to overtake its banks at any moment and swarm it with icy winter snow-melt water. Oh well, I guess that is the price one must pay for allowing felines to inhabit an otherwise human domain.

We will see what the tree looks like by the end of the season, if there is anything left to look at.

Best, Max

The newest Advent Calendar

2006-12-08T15:13:00.000-06:00

Here is a new spin on the traditional Advent Calendar. Somewhat inappropriate, but even Jesus made wine when some was needed!

Ten Years Ago

2006-11-30T08:08:00.000-06:00

Today is a day of mixed emotions for me. This is November 30, the feast of St. Andrew the patron saint of my church and the school where I teach. Therefore, it is supposed to be a day of celebration and joy in our awesome patron. However, this day, November 30, will always be a bit dampered by the fact that this is the day that my Grandfather Stickney passed away. In fact, today is the tenth anniversay of his death. He passed without warning at the breakfast table from what was assumed to be a massive stroke of some kind.

The fact that it has been ten years goes a long way in making me feel old. I can remember the days when "ten years ago" was beyond the scope of my memory. But, alas, I guess I am getting older. Further, is passing was difficult becuase he and my mom were not speaking at the time that he died.

I know that my faith teaches me not to grieve, but I do sometimes feel sorry for myself over not having any grandfathers. I feel like I was cheated out of really knowing both of them. There is just something quant about the image of a boy spending time with his grandpa. Becuase God took both of my gradfathers at a "young" age, I did not really get to experience this. I just wish today that I had one memory of going fishing, going for a walk, or just watching TV with my one of my grandpas. Just one memory would suffice for today. But, I don't have it, so I will just stick with the joy of the feast of St. Andrew.

Alleluia! He Reigns!
Max

No Child Left Behind

2006-11-29T08:10:00.000-06:00

The following article is from cnn.com

CINCINNATI, Ohio (AP) -- School districts in three states and the nation's largest teachers union asked a federal appeals court Tuesday to revive a lawsuit challenging the way government-mandated programs are funded.
The National Education Association and districts in Michigan, Vermont and Texas had sued to block the No Child Left Behind law, President Bush's signature education policy. They argued that schools should not have to comply with requirements that aren't paid for by the federal government.
Chief U.S. District Judge Bernard A. Friedman in Detroit dismissed the lawsuit in November 2005.
Attorney Robert Chanin, representing the Pontiac, Michigan, school district and the other plaintiffs, told the 6th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals on Tuesday that states submitted compliance plans based on their understanding of the level of government support that would be provided. But Congress appropriated far less than needed, leaving local school districts to make up the difference, he said.
Government attorney Alisa Klein told the panel that the intent of the law was never to fully fund the provisions laid out in No Child Left Behind.
The law requires states to revise academic standards and develop tests to measure students' progress annually. If students fail to make progress, the law requires states to take action against school districts.
The three-judge appeals court panel took the case under advisement and did not say when it will rule. The outcome would apply directly to the districts in the case, but could affect how the law is enforced in schools across the country.
----------------------
Now my two cents:

I really hope that this lawsuit goes all the way, resulting in a reversal of the idiotic piece of legislation. This is a "law" that rewards schools that do well with MORE money and resources, and punishes schools that don't do well with LESS money! Is it me or is this backwards?! Schools with "at risk" students are exactly the schools that need money and reources to improve! Ok, I must stop now, my blood-pressure is getting too high.

Perhaps I will write about something else later today.....something claming and peacedul.....like, say peanut butter.

Alleluia, He Reigns,
Max

Holey Hearts

2006-11-28T08:24:00.000-06:00

Recently in a conversation with Maura I mentioned a theological/philosophical idea of mine. I would like to talk more about that idea here. Over Thanksgiving my wife and I were helping my in-laws do some moving. I love my in-laws as much as my own parents. However, what you have to understand about them is that they have a lot of stuff. Everywhere there is stuff. They have a six bedroom home and every room is packed to the gills. Furthermore, they are antique dealers and that only contributes to the general clutter. We spent the better part of the weekend helping to move one room. There were boxes upon boxes the contents of which were generally unknown. These items were of unknown origin; however, they could not muster up the will to discard one item.
Ok, that having been said, here is my theological/philosophical idea. I believe that in every heart God has created a hole for himself. He is the only thing that will fit into this void. It seems to me that if we do not choose to allow Him to fill this hole, we will allow something to fill it. That something may be alcohol, pornography, drugs, sexual promiscuity, over-eating, or, in the case of my in-laws, just stuff….really the list could go on.
The catch to all of this is that whatever one chooses to place in this innate space in their heart, besides God, will never be able to fill it. Therefore, more and more is crammed in a vain attempt to fill this hole with the wrong things, and the bigger the hole becomes. What we cram in has left us only with a desire for more. I only hope and pray that I will allow the Lord Jesus to come into my heart, hole and all, and fill it so completely that I don’t need anything but Him.

I will get off of my soapbox now and get to the work I really should be doing.
Max

Missing Students

2006-11-21T10:19:00.000-06:00

I know that as a child I was always very happy to miss school at the drop of a hat. What I did not know was the affect this must have had on my teachers. You see, I was very much a problem child and I am sure that my teachers were glad to see my absent. Now that I am a teacher, I know that my teachers must have just jumped up and down and done cartwheels when I was not there. I know that most of you out there would shutter to think that a teacher would be happy when a studnet is absent. However, from time to time, it is a nice break to have some select students absent. This week I have three chlidren that have already departed for Thanksgiving trips and my classroom has never been quieter.

However, I do have one caveat to this "missing children joy". That is this: The child that is the biggest challenge is NEVER absent, tardy, leaves early, visits the dentist, sees the doctor, or leaves early for holiday visits. This child is simply never gone. Never, for any reason.

Good Day All,
Max

Christmas Decoration Problem

2006-11-15T10:17:00.000-06:00

Hello all,

I am currently in quite a dilemma. I can't decide weather or not to start putting up Christmas decorations. The ideal Catholic practice is not to decorate until about a week before Christmas, and leave them up until the feast of the Baptism towards the end of January.

However, this year I have a problem. We have a new house and I can't wait to decorate it for Christmas. I am a sucker for traditional Christmas decorations such as evergreen roping, window candles, and general festive clutter. I have decorations in the basement and I have bought more just for the new house. But I can't get over the Catholic guilt that would come with decorating my house too early.

There is one more mitigating factor. I am hosting the faculty Christmas party for my work. This means that my house HAS to be decorated and clean by December 22.

Therefore, I am asking your opinions about this dilemma. Can I go ahead and start decorating and let the guilt come as it may? Or should I wait at least until after Thanksgiving?

Thanks in advance for your advice!
Max

Initial Post

2006-11-09T14:18:00.000-06:00

Hello all!

I really don't know who "all" would constitute at this point. I have decided to jump on the blogging bandwagon. My good friend, Maura Grunkelemeyer is a regular blogger and I think I may have caught the bug.

My aim for this blog is to discuss the mundane and well and the extraordinary. I would like to share the everyday adventure known as the life and times of Max Ambrose. However, I would also like to interact with others that are on the same walk I find myself on, that is looking for a better relationship with God.

Well, I am sure that I am only writing this for my own benefit; therefore, I will sign off for today.

God bless you, whoever you are!
Max